Spreading A Little Love and Cheer

Merry Christmas and happy holidays everybody! Hope y’all having an extremely jolly and festive day today (I like using the word “y’all”, it’s just has this sound of fun in this contraction, plus “you all” sounds…a bit mean, but anyways…=P ) No matter what y’all celebrate, may the celebration be as awesome as y’all are!  (maybe I should tone down the “y’all”  )

I know my past couple of entries have been on the more heavy and serious side. Since it is good ol’ Christmas, I want to do something more cheery. When I think of Christmas, many things come to mind: presents, Christmas trees, the decorations, the lights, and of course, you can’t forget the music. Music is a big part of my life, even if I can’t play an instrument to save my life (I wanna change that soon though!). There are the traditional sounds of Christmas, but I think if there is one big underlying theme of Christmas music, it would be love. Whether that would be love for one’s family, friends, or just love for the holidays, nothing feels better to love and to be loved. Now the reason for mentioning this reasoning is to segway into the love songs I love the most :love:  I want to give a good list (maybe not too long) of love songs that really have sunk into my heart and will probably be in my mind until the day I die (hopefully the music won’t be though!). I want to also point out certain lyrics from these songs that really have cemented into my being, my core. I’m sure the songs I put on here is on Youtube, or somewhere on the vast ocean of the internet. I’ll try to post links to the songs (mainly from Youtube) for those who want to have a listen. If you do, and if you want, let me know how you like the song or songs :dummy:  These songs aren’t just going to be “happy, lovey-dovey” songs, there are some that are a little sad when you think about them, but I don’t think it’ll be too bad xP It is my own personal opinion soooooo this is what I think of “love” songs are. With more in-depth analysis, many songs can be about love but that’s another thing entirely xP Speaking of which anyone wants me to go on an “in depth” analysis on these songs (or any other kind of music I can delve into), when I asked, I like to oblige!

Before I start, and before I probably get asked this, I’m not really big on Christmas songs. However, if I had to pick, two Christmas songs that I gotta pick would be the classic “Jingle Bells” and “All I Want For Christmas Is You” by Mariah Carey (I can blame my younger sister for that, and that she can sing fantastically). Anyways, here is the list!

(in no any particular order)

“You and I (Deadmau5 Remix)” by Medina [link]

“Something” by The Beatles [link]

“Drive My Car” by The Beatles [link]

“Can’t By Me Love” by The Beatles [link]
-“I don’t care too much for money- can’t buy me love…oow!”

“Thunder” by Boys Like Girls  [link]
-“Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer”

“Digital Love” by Daft Punk [link]

“Touch” by Daft Punk [link]

-“Hold…hold on. If love is the answer you’ll hold…hold on.”

“Last Night On Earth” by Green Day [link]

-“You are the moonlight of my life, every night.”

“When It’s Time” by Green Day [link]

“What Is Love” by Haddaway [link]

“You Make My Dreams” by Hall and Oates [link]

“Heartless” by Kanye West [link]

“My Curse” Killswitch Engage [link]
-“There is love, burning to find you. Will you wait for me? Will you be there?”
-“There is love…there is LOVE!!”

“Toki wo Kiazmu Uta (A Song That Ticks Away Time) by Lia (if you have ever seen the anime Clannad, you know how heart wrenching this song is x.x but it is beautiful it it’s own way) [link] (this link has romaji (English pronunciation) and English translation for the lyrics, so don’t worry! XD)

“Billie Jean” by Michael Jackson [link]

“Rock With You” by Michael Jackson [link]

“Treasure” by Bruno Mars [link]

“Somebody to Love” by Queen [link]

“Crazy Little Thing Called Love” by Queen [link]

“Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley (hehe Rick Roll’ed) [link]

And the song (at least for now, and probably for a long time) that describes my love life, and a song that I adore a lot, is “Instant Crush” by Daft Punk (ft. Julian Casablancas)
[link]

Well that would be it for now. Hope everyone is enjoying the holidays!

Staying Curious

Ah, it’s great to get out of the house, hang out with your good friends, play some DnD, stay up until like 5 in the morning, and have a ball. Emphasis on the “getting out” of it. Coming back here and living here in the house with my family for the past couple of months makes me treasure the time I was away from all of this. I love my family, and I love them dearly. However, there is always that one step in your life that you have to make that more “permanent” move away and be out on your own. Partly because I guess I’m restless, part because I just want something to do other than sit here (i.e. JOB), and maybe a small part is I’d like to have my own room back please xP

Since it was a long drive up to my previous apartment (back in Bellingham, taking like 2 and a half hour drive), I had a bit to talk with one of my good friends I’ve known for years. From this little monthly trip that we do, I especially needed this one and I feel like I’ve learned something from it. Well, more like learned through self-reflection by spewing out the things that has happened. Hence, this next part is about to get a little personal.

Let me tell you a little bit more about myself. I have never met my biological father. It explains why I look different that my siblings. However, this doesn’t mean I’m treated any differently. I’ve grown up with my younger brother (he’s only a year younger), and I was looked after by my dad (their real dad, but I just call him dad anyways since he raised me from the beginning). I love all my siblings, my family, just the same as ever. I have never thought of the term “half-brother” or “half-sister” and I never intend to use such terms, because, to be frank, they are half-assed, and makes the glass seem half empty. My parents divorced each other when I was around 20 years old, when I was studying abroad in Japan. Me? I was more concerned about my younger sisters then myself or my brother. Me and my brother are in our 20s, I think we are fine. My sisters are in their pre-teens/teen years. I know one of my best friends’ mom had the bad end of the stick when it comes to marriage, but I still love her to death (hell that house was practically a 2nd home to me). I didn’t think the event of divorce could happen to us, but I was proven wrong wasn’t I? Life happens, shit happens, we learn, we strive, we keep moving. Life, and this world, waits for no one.

Part of the reason, I think at subconsciously, I study Japanese is because I learned I am part Japanese myself. I want to discover more about myself. It’s kind of like “returning to the “origin” kind of thing, if that makes sense. I have two sisters that I have there that I don’t know about. I have an entire half of a family I know nothing about. My paternal parents could already be dead. They could have been in those horrible internment camps for the Japanese during World War II. I could even be descended from samurai lineage from all I know. I don’t even know what this half of the family is LIKE, it’s just jarring. I guess not knowing is pretty scary, but it also sparks my curiosity.  I do want to meet my real father someday. I hope I do get the chance to meet more of my family that I never knew. It might turn out great, or in might turn out the way I wouldn’t want at all. In any case, at least I would come to terms with it and understand where I come from. I’m not saying my life is hard, or it’s unbearable, but it’s something I have. This unique life that no other person could ever possibly have. Sure, there are some people out there that could be in a similar situation that I have, but these people will never have my interpretation of it, never have the amazing family I grew up with, have the awesome friends that keep supporting and lifting me back up to keep me going. I may or may not like what I find with my other side of the family I don’t know, but it’s still comforting and reassuring that I have family and friends to come back to.

*sigh* I guess that was a bit heavy huh? I think my next entry will be more on the fun and uplifting side, I promise    ’til next time, stay awesome and stay curious

Oh yeah and super jolly fun happy holidays everybody!   

Purpose

Ever get one of those days that you are just completely exhausted and you don’t even know why? Like all of the life is sucked out of you. I just had one of those days yesterday and it felt miserable, like I couldn’t do anything. I’ve been doing this “Bruce Lee” 30 day challenge thing, where I do a number of punches, kicks and push-ups every day (rest day on every 4th day). I’ve tried to do this challenge a couple of months ago, but classes and volunteering preventing me from doing so. Now that I have more time, I’ve decided to take it up and complete it before the year ends. However, yesterday, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I did it today, thankfully, but it just frustrates me to feel to be so defeated. At least I got my mom a present for her birthday tomorrow, which of course makes me happier. I don’t know why I feel in such a slump. Maybe it was playing D and D and staying up until like 4 in the morning. It’s weird since I usually do that anyways. Maybe it’s the accumulation of all the crap that has been going on. Or more specifically, what isn’t going on. Mainly not have a job for starters. I see a lot of my friends out there getting jobs in Japan and working over there. I can’t help but feel jealous of them. When is it going to be my turn? Is life really this cruel? It’s not like I haven’t tried or anything. Maybe it’s my hate of waiting around doing nothing, in this “rut” I’ve been calling it. My family and friends have been very helpful and supportive, keeping encouraging me that you’ll get there, you’ll have your time. Why do I have to wait for that time to come? Why can’t it come right now?

I know those college loans are going to start coming in and it’s really scary to me. If there was some miracle for those loans to go away huh? I know I’ve had some days where I wasn’t really 100%, but looking back at yesterday really prompted me to reflect, as you see now. I don’t want to come off as whiny or angsty or anything of that sort, but thinking more and more, life can get cruel sometimes. Feeling hopeless, like you cannot do anything and you have to accept your fate. It’s like a degree doesn’t mean anything anymore. It’s like do employers even want me? Does anyone want me? I believe that if you put in lots of effort and hard work into something, you’ll get something in return. I’ve gone through my schooling, through college, met many wonderful people, had life changing experience. Then all of a sudden it comes to a stop. I know it’s not the end of days. This may be a “transitional” period of sorts. I don’t know. I see other people wanting as much time as possible, but I like to just go ahead and do things, learn by trial and error. It may not be the most efficient way, but it is a powerful way to learn and experience all sorts of things. I usually like to think things in a more positive light, but I guess sometimes you gotta hit rock bottom in order to see that life doesn’t always go your way, that you can feel sadness, it is a “human” thing we get to experience. I know I didn’t hit “rock bottom” but it felt like I was approaching that zone. I know I have a purpose to live. I know I have a purpose for this life. A purpose that is unique to me and it is my own, and no one can’t take that away from me. Not even this damn cruel world can take that away from me.

Too Much Pokemans, Reality Check, Diet Coke

Wow, it’s been a month (to this day) since I posted an entry. I hope no one is waiting for me! Too much Omega Ruby, dang Japanese Proficiency test, etc. etc. (I’m even Wonder Trading as I type this 😛 anyone that actually reads this, and big Poke fans such as myself, here is my friend code 2895 8684 1784). One thing I didn’t expect in Omega Ruby is that I didn’t really think I would get into the whole Secret Bases thing. I was totally wrong to say the least, but so wrong in a good way XD It’s pretty fun to explore the region, trying to find other people’s bases, and see what each person has created. It blows my mind how some of these bases are so lavish looking, and the time and effort put into these bases really show. Anyways, I should try to stop talking about Pokemans for once 😛

On the 7th, I took the JLPT, which is short for the Japanese Language Proficiency Exam. I took the 2nd highest level they had (which is called N2). There are 5 levels, N5 being the lowest, while N1 being the highest. To put it in prospective, at least for the N1 level, even native speakers will have a pretty difficult time with taking an N1 test. I took some example questions for N3, which were too easy for me. On top of studying Japanese for over 7 years (damn that’s a long time ) I decided to put my steaks into N2. Of course about two months I started to listen to podcasts entirely in Japanese, read a couple of higher level articles, and did a bunch of practice tests a week before the test. Now since this was my first time taking this test, I didn’t expect to get everything right. Everything is multiple choice by the way, so it’s not as brutal as you think, but it was still a very very tough test. If I do get a passing grade though, let’s just say my job prospects will skyrocket. Well, I think companies may look at me a little more my way at least (I hope so, these tests aren’t free!). I’m just really hoping I pass. If I do, hell yeah! If not, at least now I know what it feels like (and where it actually is). I still want to continue to constantly improve my Japanese skills, so if I say it on here, I’ll have more incentive to actually do something about it. Since one of my friends linked me to a Japanese news website, I’m going to start and read at least two to three articles every day (there is a simple version, then there is the actual version of the article, which is pretty sweet). Plus, since I have ALL this time (due to lacking a job  ), why not watch more anime along the way? (I’ve been meaning to finishing Soul Eater, just now I’m getting to it  ).

Briefly, on a related note, I’ve always wanted to learn the Japanese names of Pokemon. The way they get their names is fascinating to me  . Like some of the name in English is pretty fascinating. Take Typhlosion for an example (proudly displayed in my icon profile pic thingy), it takes its name from “typhoon” and “explosion,” easy enough right? In Japanese (pronounced “baku phuun”) works in a similar way. The name “baku phuun” comes from the combination of the words “explosion” (pronounced “baku ha tsu”)  and typhoon (pronounced “tie-phuun”). If you put the pieces together, you can see where the name comes from. There are more clever names than that, I can’t name them off of the top of my head though so…yeah. (Bulbapedia ftw )

On a more “reality” check, the job search is still continuing. However, I have come into contact with a company that helps out people who are bilingual in English and Japanese, and finding jobs that pertain to using those skills. Actually putting my Japanese degree into practice!   I’m hoping I can get a job where I can use my Japanese skills, and to find a job that I can help out other people, and I can do it well. Of course, a reason for getting a job is to get a paycheck, but what is the use of that paycheck if you didn’t have some fun in the process? Or if the job you are doing had no meaning to you whatsoever?

I would try to end this on a good note, but I have recently learned that one of my professors at my university (that I graduated from) passed away not to long ago. I don’t think it’ll be right to post her name on here, but let’s just say she was a true master of her field. I had to learn about Japanese history, as part of my degree (and for my second major, East Asian Studies), and I believe she was THE Japanese history professor on that campus. She wasn’t a typical happy-go-lucky professor. Let’s just say she had a very sarcastic type of humor, and it was pretty dark sometimes. However, it was pretty damn funny, and as long as you put the effort into it, she was always willing to help you out and give advice. Hell, she had some interesting, and very funny stories to boot. I just look back on all the classes I’ve taken with her, the conversations we had outside of class, the actual 3 hour discussion classes I had for the last year. These 3 hour discussions were at 5 at night, but somehow I was always eager to show up, to see what others, and the professor, would say. Of course there was some diversion here and there, and it was all in good fun. Had to read a LOT (I mean over 100 pages of reading per week was par for the course) but it was definitely a great learning experience. It felt like you were actually in an academic setting. Debating, retorting, showing evidence, stating opinions on the subject matter, it was intellectually stimulating. The professor’s way of putting us on track (or even off track) was really entertaining to say the least. She was definitely not afraid to call out on anyone’s bullshit, which of course made her more badass (she usually showed a certain kind of hatred for one particular author which wrote a couple of articles we had to read, which I see that hatred as completely justified (seeing as using your wife to get primary sources, that’s a new type of low)). It’s just so odd to think back on such great times. Even the “freshman” class she taught was super funny because it was fun seeing how she handled the freshies (let’s say some freshmen didn’t take to her grading style too well). I was a senior by the time I took this class, but I had to wait until fall quarter to finally get that class, and I had her twice before, so let’s say I knew how she taught the class. Now looking back, I remember all of these little personality kicks from her that made her stand out from my other professors. She was passionate in her field, and she knew it pretty damn well. There is one little fun thing about her that I think I can put on here. She always had some Diet Coke at hand (at least at our 3 hour discussions). I used to drink Diet Coke a bit since my aunt used to watch over me when I was younger (back in Hawaii) and she drank a lot of Diet Coke. Now that she has passed away, I know Diet Coke isn’t going to be some fizzy beverage to me, but it has more…a LOT more sentimental value to me.

I hope that her last hours weren’t painful. I like to believe that she was like a saying someone said about Teddy Roosevelt, that death must have taken her in her sleep because, if she was awake, she would have gone down fighting. In samurai armor, and badass black leather coat….and an army of cats.