Before the Anxeity, Jubliee and the Lobotomy

Hey y’all great folks! Hope the New Year has been going off to a good start for everybody (almost said every pony , no wait now I just said it xP )

Since I like talking about music so much, I’m gonna talk about another favorite song of mine. I need to do a song from my all-time favorite band, Green Day, so I’m excited to put my thoughts on one of their great collection of songs   I know too many Green Day songs by heart, it’s pretty ridiculous. However, the song I want to talk about wasn’t that difficult for me because out of all the great Green Day songs I know, this one is one of the most uniquely striking to me. It isn’t one of their “big hits,” even though those are great too. I’m talking about the 5th track of off 21st Century Breakdown, called “Before the Lobotomy.” I’ve put two links to this aural experience. The Rockband version is the album version (pretty much). I’ve also found a live recording version, which has a little explanation in the beginning on the song by Billie Joe himself.

Rockband version -> [link] (Is it kind of sad when getting 100% on songs is like…what I expect myself to get? XD  )

Live recording version -> [link]

When I first saw the title, it painted this sort of grim picture, being in a waiting room, awaiting the painful lobotomy. Having listened to the song so many times, it really is a great title. It’s as if the title encapsulates the song with three words (like good song titles do, if they are going for that).

This song, for me, evokes this “pre-stage” or “pre-peformance” kind of feeling. That cross of feelings between eagerness and nervousness before you are going to go do something that is going to be challenging. That event could be for something as big as a concert you are going to perform, or as something as giving a speech to your classmates. Well as long as it’s perceived as challenging or nerve-racking to you, it works in this context. Like the two minutes before you are set on stage, you enter in this “num-like” state so your brain won’t overflow on what would happen if something goes wrong. It’s like psyching yourself out to calm yourself into a “zen” state.

A particular thing this song does that really drives it home for me is how the beginning and ending mesh together to reflect what had happened. The beginning lulls you in, then the guitar, along with the other instruments, goes in full force. Towards the last minute and a half, the instruments don’t come to a full stop, but lulls you back to reflect how you felt in the beginning. It’s as if it was some kind of relief, a relief from all that tension that you felt just before this challenging event had come along. Like it wasn’t that hard at all, like it was almost all a dream. I just love that kind of connectivity. Of course, concept albums have great connectivity, but for it to be contained in just a single song, oh man, it’s just great  

It’s just interesting to think about. I don’t particularly enjoy the idea of getting in front of a whole bunch of people, and give an entire presentation/speech. When I had to give those types of things during school and in college, I was relieved just to get up there and get it over with. Of course, it’s good to have some fun up there, which I think if you are trying to educate people, you might as well put some humor into it, or at least try to give a show. Otherwise, what would people remember? Funny thing that this brings up my karaoke shenanigans since I don’t believe I’m a great singer to being with. However, a good chunk of my friends, my Japanese classmates (including the awesome Japanese professor), and a good chunk of my family in Hawaii have seen me sing “Billie Jean” by Michael Jackson. I’ve branded it my “ohako” so to speak. “Ohako” is a term in karaoke that means a song that represents what singing abilities you have. A song that represents “you,” or your chosen “brand” song in a sense. Apparently my MJ impressions and singing is pretty good by people who have seen me do it. I don’t really know about being “that” good, but I’d like to think I was somewhat entertaining

How all of that related back to “Before the Lobotomy” is the entire “process” I would go through. The nervousness of waiting, the action-filled event, and the relief of all of that stress. With “21st Century Breakdown” full of great songs, “Before the Lobotomy” is one of the best songs that the album has to offer. This song just “speaks” to me in a sense. I’ve always been the “goody-two shoes,” trying to get all the A’s in school, and be nice with everybody. I’m not saying that is bad per se, but it does have it’s stressful moments. That pressure to always do better. Part of it, I know, comes from my mom expecting the best out of me. I know she knows I’m driven and smart, but sometimes can’t a guy just get some leisure every once in a while? I remember one time where I got a 90 out of 100 on a paper in AP (Advanced Placement) US History. I took this class in my junior year of high school and that class was REALLY difficult for me, and I had to work my ass off for it (think I got a B+ or A-). When I got that paper, I was super proud of myself, and it felt amazing to get that kind of grade in that class. I left that paper on a bed, and when my mom saw it, she thought it was my brother’s paper. She said something like “that’s great! You did really well on that paper!!” I turn around and said that was my paper, and she was like “Oh…well keep up the good work” or something like that. It was that change in tone that just really…ugh sometimes it’s a pain. I guess “Before the Lobotomy” emphasizes that process of feelings: nervousness, anxiety, adrenaline, excitement, relief, etc. and it brings it all into a well-packed, meaningful, and thrilling experience.

I guess towards the end I got a little side-tracked huh?   Before I go, I’d like to leave with one of the more striking lyrics from this song:

“Remember to learn to forget”

Remember to remember the good times, and forget those which keep ya down because in the end, what you remember is what you share with the world. Keep firing it up and blazing it up like Typhlosion baby!

(yeah I’m a dork, I know )

Instantly Smitten by Instant Crush

Happy new year y’all amazing people! Here is to a bigger and better year!

I figure I’d start out the year with a good ol’ journal entry. I want to talk about a previous entry, the one about my favorite love songs. Specifically, I want to explain why my favorite love song is my favorite song. For a refresher, my favorite love song (and just one of the numerous favorite songs I have in general) is “Instant Crush” by Daft Punk (ft. Julian Casablancas). For those who haven’t heard it yet and are eager to listen to it, or don’t want to look back at my previous entry, here is the youtube link to it: [link].

Now because I’m funny and weird, I’m just gonna keep blabbering on and on trying to explain and express what this song means to me and why it’s one of my favorites. If are looking for organization, you won’t find it here 😛 Just think of it as “controlled chaos”   but anyway, 1, 2, 3 go!

Just looking at the name, “Instant Crush,” it just sounds really cool. When I first saw the title, I thought of the crush like one’s first love. Or that feeling of falling for someone for the first time, and you are instantly smitten, without a care in the world, like floating in a world of cotton candy clouds. It’s like when you see that “right” person, when you give that person a glance in the eyes, it’s sudden chemistry. You want to go to that person, be with that person, and be linked together ’til the end of time (at least that is the vibe I got off of it). I recently did a fun Wiki search on the creation of the song, and the song was originally titled “Summer Crush.” Under the context of the album it’s in, Random Access Memories, it makes a lot of sense to me. The song after “Instant Crush” is “Lose Yourself to Dance,” which, I think if the song kept the original title, would have been a more “blended” or smoother change of mood. However, I like the decision that they changed it to “Instant Crush” is because the song has a more melancholic tone, or had some dark underlying tones to it. Having the word “Summer” in the title paints a totally different perspective for me, so I think the title change was a great move on their part.

Now to the actual song itself. If you want a short version of the explanation, I think what I can come up with is that this song describes the feeling of my entire love life in a nutshell. The tone, the mood, the lyrics, the more I delved into this song, the more it resonated within me and became a part of me. It’s as if it was a part of me this whole time. Of course it doesn’t “perfectly” describe my love life, but I feel like it “harnesses” my outlook on my own love life pretty damn well.

When I first listen to this song, since I was listening into order of the album, I thought this was a definite turn of mood in the album. The previous song “Within” portrayed a feeling of confusion, and losing one’s self-identity, but when it turned to “Instant Crush,” it’s like the journey to try to find someone out there that gives a damn about you. After a couple of more times I listened to the song, I got more and more hooked onto it, like I was subconsciously and consciously drawn to it. Consciously because I felt that one of the big themes of this song is “unrequited love,” and being the hopeless romantic I am, and the condition of my love life so far, it clicked. Subconsciously (I’m guessing since if I knew my subconscious really well, that’d be super scary) because it had this dark underlying tone of that unrequited love. Wanting love so badly that you are willing to cling to the first person that shows a slight sign of affection, even if that person isn’t the best choice. It has this sort of tone that mixes hope and hopelessness. Hope by presenting that love that you so desperately have been seeking. Hopelessness by conveying the feeling that love can be easily taken away just as easily as you fell in love, so you have to cling on that love for your life. As I looked in more to the lyrics, it confirmed my feelings on the unrequited love theme, but there was so much more to it. It conveyed this history, a history, like your first love and explaining how great it was, how it great was back then, how much you want to experience those moments, how much you don’t want to forget the little great moments that give you life.

One of the more striking lyrics to me in the song, “So I chained myself to a friend, cause I know it unlocks like a door.” I don’t know, just saying that is audibly and visually hits me every time. Like just the visualization of literally chaining someone, your friend, in order to unlock a door to deepen the friendship. It one way it can sound endearing, but it can easily be taken as being eerily creepy. It’s that fine line between “lovey-dovey” and (don’t like using the term but) “stalker”-ish.  A couple of lines that comes before those lyrics I just mentioned, comes this: “Can I count on you being a friend? Can I give it up or give it away?” The guest singer, Julian Casablancas, was stated (I think Daft Punk mentioned this) that he was sort of “out of his element” when recording for the song. His voice is put through a vocoder throughout the entire piece, but I believe, and I’m pretty sure Daft Punk believes, Casablancas rose up to the occasion and gave the song his own expression and energy. Even with his voice put through the vocoder, I can feel the narrative, the history, the frustration, the confusion, the hope, the anguish, the…well everything that is sung out of his mouth.

Of course, I cannot forget the great Daft Punk and their superb musicality. I’m not really educated in the world of music. Hell the closest I come to “making” music is playing Rockband/Guitar Hero off of plastic instruments. However, I believe and I know music is an integral part of my life. Without it, I’d be a completely different person. I just love what Daft Punk does, the electronic sounds, the throwbacks to the oldies, it’s aural bliss. Part of what bring me back to this song in particular is just the simple notes, the simple chords, like “duuun, dun dun dun, dun dun dun.” I know I’m not doing it any justice here but when you listen to the last bit of the song, you’ll know what I’m talking about. It’s like it resonates within me, these simple chords, under the context of the song, almost transcendent in a way. Well I don’t want to glorify it THAT much, but that is what comes to my mind.

Anyways, I think that’ll do for now. I felt that I should at least explain why this song is my favorite love song. I may have only described one song from Random Access Memories, but it really is a great masterpiece. When Daft Punk (along with everyone that worked on the album) won the grammys with “Get Lucky,” it was totally well deserved. They may have overloaded “Get Lucky” on the radio, but when it did come on, it was one of the few instances that it did not bother me one bit (I reveled in it  ) . “Get Lucky” isn’t the only song that is super amazing, I mean I just described one of it’s other amazing songs. Let’s just say: Daft Punk = Awesome.

Hope everyone’s New Year is kicking off with an awesome start. Music is expression, music is heart, music is heart, music is soul, music is human, music is being, music is awesome, music is being awesome, and here is to keep on being awesome    

Oh and don’t forget: Lose Yourself To Dance!!!  

Spreading A Little Love and Cheer

Merry Christmas and happy holidays everybody! Hope y’all having an extremely jolly and festive day today (I like using the word “y’all”, it’s just has this sound of fun in this contraction, plus “you all” sounds…a bit mean, but anyways…=P ) No matter what y’all celebrate, may the celebration be as awesome as y’all are!  (maybe I should tone down the “y’all”  )

I know my past couple of entries have been on the more heavy and serious side. Since it is good ol’ Christmas, I want to do something more cheery. When I think of Christmas, many things come to mind: presents, Christmas trees, the decorations, the lights, and of course, you can’t forget the music. Music is a big part of my life, even if I can’t play an instrument to save my life (I wanna change that soon though!). There are the traditional sounds of Christmas, but I think if there is one big underlying theme of Christmas music, it would be love. Whether that would be love for one’s family, friends, or just love for the holidays, nothing feels better to love and to be loved. Now the reason for mentioning this reasoning is to segway into the love songs I love the most :love:  I want to give a good list (maybe not too long) of love songs that really have sunk into my heart and will probably be in my mind until the day I die (hopefully the music won’t be though!). I want to also point out certain lyrics from these songs that really have cemented into my being, my core. I’m sure the songs I put on here is on Youtube, or somewhere on the vast ocean of the internet. I’ll try to post links to the songs (mainly from Youtube) for those who want to have a listen. If you do, and if you want, let me know how you like the song or songs :dummy:  These songs aren’t just going to be “happy, lovey-dovey” songs, there are some that are a little sad when you think about them, but I don’t think it’ll be too bad xP It is my own personal opinion soooooo this is what I think of “love” songs are. With more in-depth analysis, many songs can be about love but that’s another thing entirely xP Speaking of which anyone wants me to go on an “in depth” analysis on these songs (or any other kind of music I can delve into), when I asked, I like to oblige!

Before I start, and before I probably get asked this, I’m not really big on Christmas songs. However, if I had to pick, two Christmas songs that I gotta pick would be the classic “Jingle Bells” and “All I Want For Christmas Is You” by Mariah Carey (I can blame my younger sister for that, and that she can sing fantastically). Anyways, here is the list!

(in no any particular order)

“You and I (Deadmau5 Remix)” by Medina [link]

“Something” by The Beatles [link]

“Drive My Car” by The Beatles [link]

“Can’t By Me Love” by The Beatles [link]
-“I don’t care too much for money- can’t buy me love…oow!”

“Thunder” by Boys Like Girls  [link]
-“Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer”

“Digital Love” by Daft Punk [link]

“Touch” by Daft Punk [link]

-“Hold…hold on. If love is the answer you’ll hold…hold on.”

“Last Night On Earth” by Green Day [link]

-“You are the moonlight of my life, every night.”

“When It’s Time” by Green Day [link]

“What Is Love” by Haddaway [link]

“You Make My Dreams” by Hall and Oates [link]

“Heartless” by Kanye West [link]

“My Curse” Killswitch Engage [link]
-“There is love, burning to find you. Will you wait for me? Will you be there?”
-“There is love…there is LOVE!!”

“Toki wo Kiazmu Uta (A Song That Ticks Away Time) by Lia (if you have ever seen the anime Clannad, you know how heart wrenching this song is x.x but it is beautiful it it’s own way) [link] (this link has romaji (English pronunciation) and English translation for the lyrics, so don’t worry! XD)

“Billie Jean” by Michael Jackson [link]

“Rock With You” by Michael Jackson [link]

“Treasure” by Bruno Mars [link]

“Somebody to Love” by Queen [link]

“Crazy Little Thing Called Love” by Queen [link]

“Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley (hehe Rick Roll’ed) [link]

And the song (at least for now, and probably for a long time) that describes my love life, and a song that I adore a lot, is “Instant Crush” by Daft Punk (ft. Julian Casablancas)
[link]

Well that would be it for now. Hope everyone is enjoying the holidays!

Iron Heart Surge!!! Inspiration: Inspire to Inspire

Sorry for the delay, I’ve been thinking about an upcoming interview I’m going to this Saturday. The same company that rejected me a personal interview a couple of months ago, and now I’m going at it again. At least I’ve change up my teaching demonstration. I know I have doubts, I know I don’t have “formal” teaching experience, I know there is the possibility that the outcome will be the same as last time. However, knowing all this, I still want to try, I still and will want to do this badly. Wanting to go to Japan, to explore, to teach, to learn, to understand, to expand, and hopefully to enlighten others along the way. I do hope to go around the world someday, but I want to start out where I can start out, and that is in Japan. I’ve also just put in all of my papers for JET (Japan Exchange and Teaching) Program to the mail. I really hope it gets to them on time (this Friday), and then I gotta wait until late January to see if I get an interview. Just being stuck in this jobless rut, it really makes me feel uncertain about my future. I’ll die trying though. As much as the world around me shapes myself, but in turn, I can shape the world as well. I control my own fate. I am the leader of my own life. I have my own thing that no one else can take. I have my own song; my own sound to sing. I am a unique set of energy, matter and particles that no one else can be.

I guess I want to write about what inspires me because I may need it now more than ever (at least until I actually start going to Japan, then I’ll definitely need it). It is hard to think about what inspires me. I draw from a multitude of facets that keep me going. Family, friends, movies, quotes, ideals, even the simple act of looking at what my dear friends have given me as presents throughout my life. I keep them so I never forget that there are people out there that have affected your life as much as you have affected theirs. It doesn’t even need to be this “giant” or grand gift. Even as simple as an Applejack dog tag can be part of one’s grand treasures. Since trying to describe everything that inspires me would be an exhausting list of things, I think I’ll just break it down into two parts: other people, and myself.

Even under this category, there so many things that others have inspired me in such a way, it would be impossible to list. I’ll say three big inspirations for me: family, friends, and artists. Of course family is a big deal for me. My mom wants me to do whatever I want to do and make the best out of my life. My dad had and still does inspire me to work out even though he isn’t around to watch us that much anymore. Seeing my younger sisters reminds me that I still am their older brother and should try act as a role model for them, but at the same time, provide them help when they need it and let them be who they want to be. Seeing my godson and his little brother makes me think to make a path that they can be proud of, and that I can provide something to their lives that they can appreciate.

Just so many family members, it’s awesome. Friends, which is a giant ass category all on its own, are people I have such a deep debt of gratitude for. My awesome Japanese friends that I have met while volunteering, the teachers that I’ve come to know at Western, friends that I’ve met at Western through classes, clubs, and volunteering (and maybe randomly), and of course my close friends that have been in my life longer than you know. They have taught me soooo many things, and they have affected my life is such a way that, I don’t know if I’ll even be myself without knowing everyone that I know (もちろん、あきら姉ちゃんも人生に大きい影響がある！). Of course your best friends are not only there for you, but they are there to talk shit in your face, make the worse jokes with you, and keep you check, but you love them for that and more! I want to point out that for all the Japanese students, my friends, that I’ve helped and taught along the way, they probably have learned some things from me, which I am proud that they have learned so much, but the fact is that they have taught me so many things, not just Japanese, but Japanese culture, their hobbies, their personalities, and of course many things about myself that I wouldn’t have discovered without them (wow that’s a long sentence eh?). The teachers, the professors I’ve had, I feel that I’ve been extremely lucky, and blessed to have known and been taught by such wonderful people. Being able to interact with so many people that have the same passion and thirst for knowledge as you, and being able to bond with them and treat them like family, it’s just wonderful. Especially when I studied abroad at Nagoya, I’ve made a group of friends that I think are practically another family to me, just that they are spread across the world. Hell, even one of them came to see me like a year later after I had to come back to Western!

Now I gotta move on to artists before I just keep gushing over and over. I can break this down to three different types of artists. Of course there are many other kinds, but this just a simplified version, so I can get my point across. The three types are: musical, comedic, and martial artists. Musical artists such as Green Day, Daft Punk, AC/DC, Metallica, and just video game music in general have all moved me and have given me the chance to experience and express myself in ways I would only dream of. Comedic artists, (not just comedians, it’s an art) like George Carlin, Gabriel Iglasias, Dave Chapelle, Louis CK, and others that have made me laugh and made me think about the life we live in. They have taught me that of course, we are all human beings, and we all like to have a good laugh, but also, through laughter, we can also learn about ourselves, even with all the harsh realities that exist in this world. Seeing martial artists, mainly on movies, have made me think, and still think about different philosophies of life, and how we can express our bodies. Bruce Lee always comes to my mind. He taught me, and inspires me to keep being myself; to not going out there and be a carbon of someone else; to keep climbing higher and higher; to be the best, like no one ever was.

Now to get to the “myself” category. Taken inspiration from Bruce Lee, I want to, and strive to become a better person, a better me, a better person towards others in some way, every day. I want to test my limits and go beyond them, using no limit as a limit. To always strive for more, because there is always something that you can improve. I want to be able to teach others, to enlighten others, to provide for others something that they want, can appreciate, and feel amazing for learning. I want to be able to travel around the world, experience and learn so many things that I wouldn’t begin to imagine. Meet many people, experience many cultures, and learn a couple of martial arts, try to learn at least one instrument (at least piano), so many things to do, to learn, to experience. Knowing that in the future, at least I hope, that I do find someone that I can love, and be loved by for the rest of my life. To be able to be kind, loving, caring, sharing with this amazing person, and learn and keep learning more and more about this amazing person until I die. Of course she isn’t going to be perfect, no one is, but that is part of the fun right? To be the best husband I can be, to be best friend and companion I can be. I know I’m not perfect, but I know I’ll work my ass off and protect my loved one, and my loved ones with every fiber of my being. If there is something I have, is this odd undying determination. Then probably, I’ll have my own kids come around, and I’ll be the best father I can be. Providing my children with the love, affection, care, and knowledge that I have, and I’ve never have. At least starting out with the fact knowing that their own father is their actual biological father, and not someone that abandons their own children to avoid the responsibility that has fallen upon that father. I haven’t met my real father, at least not yet, but I don’t ever want to put any child through that kind of uncertainty, and the trouble to go out and try to find out where they really come from. To provide my children with a father that will be there for them, that will love them for who they are, to teach them the grander things of life, and to support them to become whoever they want to become in life.

I think, ultimately, well at least a big part of what I think about in my life: is to discover who I am. Where I come from, why I act in certain ways, how and why my personality is this way. I guess my life, a big part of it, isn’t just teaching and enlightening other people about themselves, but to go down this winding road of self-discovery as well. You live your own life, you are a being, a being of compressed energy, this bundle of trillions of cells, why wouldn’t you want to learn more about yourself. To try and end this on a more “logical” note if you will, is that one of the biggest things that inspire me is to just keep going. Keep on improving, there is always room to improve. Do not compare yourself to others or else you’ll fall into this perpetual trap of “being like” someone else. Just go out and keep being you. As one of my friends that taught me Wing Chun at Western, keep on keeping on.

Also, I know I’m late on this, but of course, a big thanks, and never ending appreciation to all of the soldiers, veterans, people who help defend us so we have the opportunities to live out our own lives in safety.

These aren’t all the quotes I have, but here are some inspiring quotes:

“Fall down seven times, get back up eight.”

“It’s hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember.”

“A negative mind will never give you a positive life.”

“The happiest people don’t have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything.”

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

“Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.”

“Everyone you will ever meet, knows something you don’t.”

“Don’t limit your challenges, challenges your limits.”

“Your effort to remain what you are is what limits you.”

“Rules don’t make us moral. Loving each other makes us moral.” –Adam Savage

“If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.” –Albert Einstein

“Music to me is the air I breathe, it’s the blood that pumps through my veins that keeps me alive.” –Billie Joe Armstrong

“One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.” – Bob Marely

“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith yourself; don’t go out looking for a successful personality and duplicate it.” – Bruce Lee

“The Human Goal: To Actualize Oneself.” – Bruce Lee

“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” –Bruce Lee

“To live is to express oneself freely.” – Bruce Lee

“Walk on.” – Bruce Lee

“My pain may be the reason for somebody’s laugh. But my laugh must never be the reason for somebody’s pain.” – Charlie Chaplin

“That’s the best revenge of all: happiness. Nothing drives people crazier than seeing someone have a good fucking life.” –Chuck Palahniuk

“Life is getting tough, means God is afraid of your progress.” –Courage Wolf

“Shit happens. Let it happen. Embrace the shit. Become the shit.” –deadmau5

“It is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.” –George Burns

“Dude, suckin at something is the first step to being sorta good at something.” –Jake the Dog (from Adventure Time)

“You were born an original. Don’t die a copy.” –John Mason

“Everything that’s difficult you should be able to laugh about.” Louis CK

“I see now that the circumstances of one’s birth are irrelevant; it is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are.” –Mewtwo (from Pokemon: The First Movie)

“What I got to live up to, is to be myself.” – Ray Charles

“Comedy is acting out optimism.” –Robin Williams

“Waiting for someone else’s approval of you isn’t worth it.” –Toph (from the series Avatar: The Last Airbender)